Missing You

 

So many days and nights that I had been through, it won't stop my mind from thinking about you. The flashback of happy and sad memories, made your shadows alive in my mind. How you came into my life had arisen me from my darkest moment. The warmth of your body had made me feel secure by your side. Your scent had brighten my day. Your voice had been recorded well in my ears, how you whisper words that would always made me feel calm in all kind of situations. Your gestures that had showed me the signs of your love and made me feel that I'm the luckiest girl in the world. 

But after I opened my eyes, you disappeared, leading me back to my darkest moment with much more pain. You had made my life empty. You made me wandering in the coldest desert of mind. A left me in the blizzard of the coldest heart. All this time, I had been dreaming to much. I have been misjudging the wrong thing. You are not as what I had expected. It is time to forget you, even though my mind wouldn't stop thinking about you. I know I would be missing the 'you' that I know. But I had to forget you, even though I am still stuck with all of those memories you gave me. I am still the same me you used to know. I will always be missing you.

Regrets

As people always says:

Regrets come last never in the beginning

There are many types of regrets that had occurred in my mind:

1. Regret of what you have done in the past
2. Regret that you didn't do of what you should do
3. Regret having to know that person
4. Regret that you became too close with that person
5. Regret of the things that you had said
6. Regret of the things that you had plan
7. And many other more regrets..

But these regrets are a good thing. Without it, we would never learn of what our mistakes are. We would never learn how to value something until it's gone. So, don't fall into the same hole twice.

The Message

Tell Him , a song from Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion. The most beautiful voices that had hypnotized my heart and my mind. But this song is different from other songs that I had heard, this song has become a favorite song in my life. Why? In my perspective view, a song is an expression of the heart. It represents what are you feeling for the moment. 

So a conclusion from what I've wrote in the first paragraph. Tell Him song expresses of what I am feeling for the moment. But besides that, I've been loving this song since this song came out. But I've began to notice this song more when my life began to feel the same thing as what this song tries to express.

But sadly, I wouldn't be the character as what this song asks you to be. However, I have my own principal and I think that my principal is the best thing for me. Probably it would be the most old school principal, but yes, I'm still holding to it. 

However, my principal is that, I wouldn't chase after guys. It is not me. And please, that is so not me. I would never chase. My hopes and wish is that they chase after me. I know that this is a very old school principal. But this is the real me. So for someone, and you know who you are. This is me. 

A message for you:

I don't care about your background. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me. I accept you for who you are as it is. All I ask from you is to be an honest person, be truthful, and dare to express of what you feel. Don't be a coward. Don't be a hypocrite. The matter of whether I'll accept you or not, depends on how you really truly care and truly love me. All I need is a person who is responsible and truthful who truly cares and love me for what I am as it is and not for what I'm not. I need a person who truly cares and love me and my family not only me. Yes, that is me. Probably this will be the hardest thing a girl asks, but that is just me.

Unanswered Questions

There are always questions that are stuck in my head where it can't be answered. Questions that I always asked God even though I have to find the answers myself with Allah's Wills. It's all a mystery for us humans to seek all of those questions. 

Dear Allah,

Why am I here? Why do I exist in this world? Will my existence bring good things to this world or possibly it'll be vice versa? If I bring bad things to this world, then why did You let me appear in this world? 

Why do we have feelings? Why do we have to feel love feeling, happy feeling, sad feeling, disappointing feeling, and many other feelings? What are these feelings for? 

Why do I have these questions on my mind? Why do we have to search answers to these questions? Why do we have to seek all of these mysteries?

And after all this time, I was so stupid. The answer was always there, but only by Allah's Will we could know the answer. 

The answer contains about five words, and that is:

It is because of Allah

Allah knows the way how to make us grateful to Allah. Without all of this, the only thing we know is about Allah but we don't know how to thank Allah back. Without all of this, we feel vacuous. We feel something empty. 

All of these questions, is Allah's Way to show us how Great Allah is, how Creative Allah is, and to tell us that we are nothing without Allah.