What's the use?

Thank you, those words of yours still lingers on my ear.
It's as if those words are now haunting me.
Reminds me of every pain that had suffered me.

"It's okay not to be okay"

When those words haunts me, I end up being vulnerable again.
It seems like those words are the words I need.
However, those words ripped the heart.

I must be fine.
I must be strong.
I must , I really must.

What's the use of being vulnerable?
When in the end, it's only you that being hurt?
Only yourself that understand your own pain.

What's the use?
In the end, the one who sees you, pities you.
Mocks you for being a fake.

You

That moment, when you turn away,
I had to grab you.
I had to hold you.
I had to touch you.

I know that you won't dislike it,
I know that your heart craves for it
I know that you won't resist it
I know that we want it.

The gaze of your eyes,
made me reaching out for you.
The looks of your expression,
made my eyes unable to blink.
The softness of your lips,
made me want you more.

I just had to have you,
I just had to need you,
Everything of you,
I want it.

That moment when you turn away,
I just had to stop it.
I can't resist it.
I can't let that chance slip.

The best chance for my life.

Selfish Human Being

God, I wonder if I'm being too selfish with You.
I kept demanding a lot of things from You, but yet I can't give back anything in return.
One by one, You answered my prayers, and yet I kept asking for more.
Sometimes, I would forget You, sometimes, I am not grateful to You.
I am truly sorry God.

My heart kept asking things to make myself happy.
My brain kept telling me to ask things that makes me smile.
But however, these conscience of mine feels so selfish whenever I ask Thee. 
Because I constantly kept asking things. 

I tried my best to be with You. 
For if I forgot you, I become completely clueless.
My mind will not be at peace.
I become someone who is too sensitive in everything.

Ya Allah, Ya Rabbi.
Forgive me, please guide me to be a better person than before.
A person, who will always remembers You.
A person with a character that You like.
Make me a grateful person,
Don't let me be astray

Keep on watching over me, ya Allah.
Remind me if I do things that You hate.
Only to You, I ask things. 
Only to Your guidance, I follow.