My 26th Sea Games Journey (Pt. 2)

Okay, last time I was writing about my panic mode. The selection is in two days and I still don't know where the hell this place was located plus I was really sick at that time. I had a flu (this is not the main sickness I want to tell), so I drank a medicine where my stomach couldn't take it. So it gave me another complication after that, yes, that is GASTRIC ACID. The most sickness I hate ever. I vomited almost everyday because of this. 

Back to the main story, so the day had finally arrive. The selection started at 7, so I departed from my home at 5 in the morning. It was still dark at that time. I managed to know the route for the public transportation and the area for this selection test. And thadaaa I arrived exactly five minutes before seven. Jakarta's traffic jam is pretty hectic you know. Just for a reminder, my health is still not stable. 

Anyway, I searched out the green section, the zone which I was supposed to sit on. I was lost there, this stadium is confusing me. I didn't even know which door I should enter. And oh my God, I didn't brought my board to write on. Oh well, guess I have to buy a new one. 

After having a thirty minutes lost in the stadium, I finally found the green section. Lucky, the event didn't start on time (One of the Indonesian bad habits and I really hate this habit). I sat there in my seat then I took all of my equipments.

The test had finally started. It was an Intelligent Quotient test. This test takes hours and they even had an interview while at it. Oh my, my head starts to feel dizzy after two hours. I feel like I wanted to vomit. Argh, I can't stand it anymore. So what I did was do the test as fast as I could, then get out from this room. I didn't care whether I got accepted or not. All I could think of is I wanted to puke.

Finally, I did this test randomly. I didn't even concentrate on every questions it showed. So after couple of hours, I managed to finish this test. But stupidly, after that I went to a mini market and buy myself a Slurpee. So much for a sick person (do not copy this at home). After that, I started to feel sick again plus a brain freeze. But anyway, I'm free. No more test, I mean only for that moment. 

Now, the only thing to do is wait for the result. To be continued...

 

Faded Hope

Memories.. things that I would want to forget right now. I wish I really could. But it just won't happen. Those people gave me such big hopes about you and sadly I'm influenced by it. I used to never like you in the beginning, then those people came and gave me those hopes that made me fly in the sky. Then you started to show yourself, showing that those hopes that people had gave me were true. Why? I don't know. Was it just a bet? I don't know. 

From that moment, you made me fallen into you. I try to open up myself to you. I try to open my locked heart to you. Step by step, I really have fallen in love with you. But, the moment I had really open my heart for you, what did you do? Ignore me as if we didn't know each other. We're close, but then we became strangers. I thought I knew you, but you changed directly. Somehow as if you're trying to twist my heart around. 

Now, I regret that I had opened my heart again. I was so stupid to believe everything what I shouldn't believe. I was so stupid feeling the things I shouldn't feel. Now, I'm trying to stand strong in front of you. Trying to act that nothing has ever happen, yes it never did happen. Never did! Trying to ignore you but acting as if I'm not ignoring you. Because the more I see you, the more it hurts me. The more you smile at me, the more you're trying to kill me.  I will never know whether you did like, or whether you were just pretending. But now, I really don't want to find the answer. I don't want to wait for you anymore. Its time to move on. Its the time to find my future. For I have to stand strong. I'm tired of hoping. I'm tired of hearing impossible things. I'm tired when all of those people said to me I have to wait. Because I know, it's just too impossible. You're too mysterious for me. This moment you might gave me another hope, but then the next moment you will fade away again. You kept on doing this. I'm too tired. Now, I will try to fade all this hope. Trying to fade all my love for you although I knew I couldn't.

I hope the best for you only. I pray that someday you will get your happiness although you made me like this. Amin.