My 26th Sea Games Journey (Pt. 2)

Okay, last time I was writing about my panic mode. The selection is in two days and I still don't know where the hell this place was located plus I was really sick at that time. I had a flu (this is not the main sickness I want to tell), so I drank a medicine where my stomach couldn't take it. So it gave me another complication after that, yes, that is GASTRIC ACID. The most sickness I hate ever. I vomited almost everyday because of this. 

Back to the main story, so the day had finally arrive. The selection started at 7, so I departed from my home at 5 in the morning. It was still dark at that time. I managed to know the route for the public transportation and the area for this selection test. And thadaaa I arrived exactly five minutes before seven. Jakarta's traffic jam is pretty hectic you know. Just for a reminder, my health is still not stable. 

Anyway, I searched out the green section, the zone which I was supposed to sit on. I was lost there, this stadium is confusing me. I didn't even know which door I should enter. And oh my God, I didn't brought my board to write on. Oh well, guess I have to buy a new one. 

After having a thirty minutes lost in the stadium, I finally found the green section. Lucky, the event didn't start on time (One of the Indonesian bad habits and I really hate this habit). I sat there in my seat then I took all of my equipments.

The test had finally started. It was an Intelligent Quotient test. This test takes hours and they even had an interview while at it. Oh my, my head starts to feel dizzy after two hours. I feel like I wanted to vomit. Argh, I can't stand it anymore. So what I did was do the test as fast as I could, then get out from this room. I didn't care whether I got accepted or not. All I could think of is I wanted to puke.

Finally, I did this test randomly. I didn't even concentrate on every questions it showed. So after couple of hours, I managed to finish this test. But stupidly, after that I went to a mini market and buy myself a Slurpee. So much for a sick person (do not copy this at home). After that, I started to feel sick again plus a brain freeze. But anyway, I'm free. No more test, I mean only for that moment. 

Now, the only thing to do is wait for the result. To be continued...

 

Faded Hope

Memories.. things that I would want to forget right now. I wish I really could. But it just won't happen. Those people gave me such big hopes about you and sadly I'm influenced by it. I used to never like you in the beginning, then those people came and gave me those hopes that made me fly in the sky. Then you started to show yourself, showing that those hopes that people had gave me were true. Why? I don't know. Was it just a bet? I don't know. 

From that moment, you made me fallen into you. I try to open up myself to you. I try to open my locked heart to you. Step by step, I really have fallen in love with you. But, the moment I had really open my heart for you, what did you do? Ignore me as if we didn't know each other. We're close, but then we became strangers. I thought I knew you, but you changed directly. Somehow as if you're trying to twist my heart around. 

Now, I regret that I had opened my heart again. I was so stupid to believe everything what I shouldn't believe. I was so stupid feeling the things I shouldn't feel. Now, I'm trying to stand strong in front of you. Trying to act that nothing has ever happen, yes it never did happen. Never did! Trying to ignore you but acting as if I'm not ignoring you. Because the more I see you, the more it hurts me. The more you smile at me, the more you're trying to kill me.  I will never know whether you did like, or whether you were just pretending. But now, I really don't want to find the answer. I don't want to wait for you anymore. Its time to move on. Its the time to find my future. For I have to stand strong. I'm tired of hoping. I'm tired of hearing impossible things. I'm tired when all of those people said to me I have to wait. Because I know, it's just too impossible. You're too mysterious for me. This moment you might gave me another hope, but then the next moment you will fade away again. You kept on doing this. I'm too tired. Now, I will try to fade all this hope. Trying to fade all my love for you although I knew I couldn't.

I hope the best for you only. I pray that someday you will get your happiness although you made me like this. Amin. 

My 26th Sea Games Journey (Pt. 1)

THE RECRUITMENT

It started of from my friend in campus. She said that the International Sea Games Organizing  Committee (INASOC) is having an open recruitment for the sea games event. So I opened the website that my friend had told me. I thought that I should give it a try because I think that this event is not held anually.  And, of course I thought that it would give me some life experiences, networks, and of course more friends. I saw three jobs listed there, and those jobs with its criteria are as follow:

Liaison Officer
Job Description:
• As the Personal Assistant, to help ease the VVIP and VIP guests SEA Games participants XXVI/2011
• As a liaison VVIP and VIP guests with the Committee INASOC
• Responsible for providing information and coordinating the VVIP and VIP guests with the Committee INASOC

Criteria:
• Male / Female
• Age 23 – 30 Years
• Concept wide (General Knowledge, Culture and the latest global news)
• Student Level End/Bachelor
• Interesting personality
• Possess the ability to communicate with both English (High Level) / France / Thailand
• Sufficiency (responds to all situations)

Volunteer
Job Description:
• Responsible for providing convenience to delegates to provide the necessary information and requirements
• Responsible for helping the committee executive, sports, venues, events and other activities during the SEA Games last XXVI/2011

Criteria:
• Male / Female
• Age 18 - 35 Years
• Concept wide (General Knowledge, Culture and the latest global news)
• High School Student Level End
• Interesting personality
• Possess the ability to communicate with both English
• Sufficiency (responds to all situations)

Work Force
Job Description:
• Responsible for helping the implementation of the game in various venues,
• Helps smooth transportation,
• Assist in the distribution of catering, cleaning and the waste places that require
• Responsive to all situations
• Ready to help in all conditions if necessary

Criteria:
• Male/Female
• At least educated junior school.

So after I saw all these three job-description, I chose the one that really fits my criteria, that is the volunteer section. Yes, the only one that really fits me. So, I filled in the online application they had in their website. Fill in my name, address, mobile number, university, position I chose, et cetera. After that, I had to wait for their next information about this recruitment. No information continuation at all, I even forgot that I filled in this application. 

Suddenly, after two months, I received a text message by an unknown number. It showed that I had been invited for Sea Games liaison officer or volunteer applicants selection on Wednesday, 13th July 2011 at GOR Soemantri Brodjonegoro, teenagers sports arena. Besides that, it showed my entry number, which section I should sit at, and what should I bring at that day. Seriously, I didn't know where this place was and which public transportation track should I ride. And this event will be held in two days. I had that panic mode of course. Directly after I had read my text message,  I opened my e-mail to see if there was a more complete information about this invitation. Yes, there it was although they didn't show the map of the destination I should go.  The same thing I saw in my text message. To be continued..

To Forget

Astaghfirullah al-adhim

Rasanya sakit sekali ya Allah ketika mengingatnya

Kenangan yang indah, namu cita asa itu belum tercapai

Dan sekarang, tepatnya pada saat ini,

Entah mengapa saya mengingatnya kembali,

Rasanya seperti tertusuk teramat dalam, 

Terobek serobek robeknya

Ingin sekali rasanya untuk menggapainya, 

Tapi aah, itu semua hanya angan saja, 

Mungkinkah? Aku tak tahu. 

Aku hanya bisa berdo'a saja. 

Tapi pada saat ini, saya menyesalinya.

Segala peristiwa manis nan indah itu

yang telah membuat aku salah sangka 

salah memahami

salah mengerti

Entah, 

Entah mengapa pada saat itu, 

Tanda itu terasa begitu nyata

Kini tanda itu menghilang begitu saja

Sungguh, aku tak suka dengan hal itu

Ku telah mencoba untuk melupakan

Namun, semakin kucoba, semakin ku ingat.

Kepala ini seakan ingin pecah,

Bersamaan dengan hati ini.

Aku ingin kembali seperti dulu,

dimana hanya ada kehampaan dan kekosongan.

Sekarang yang ada hanyalah rasa sakit

yang sedang menumpuk dari masa silam.

Gloomy Shocking Birthday

Birthday, is a day where people tends to celebrate the increasing new age in their life. This only happens once a year. This day is meant to be very special for the people who are having their birthdays. It is their day to be happy and enjoy it.
But this kind of birthday is rather different than mine. As you can see in my title, my birthday was very gloomy. The clock was showing twelve o'clock midnight. All I did was reading all the posts from my friend in some social networks I have (unmentioned) and replied them, that includes the posts in my text messages also. I read some of my friends were congratulating me in my birthday. Truly, those congratulations meant a lot for me. Even though some of them had just said "happy birthday" or "hbd". But I don't care, I appreciate their time in congratulating me; their sincerity in wishing me and pray for me good things. Thank you people. :)  Well I hope God blesses you back. That is the only thing I could do for their kindness. My prayer. 
About thirty minutes had passed, my parents congratulated me also, directly, face to face. It was nice though. I got hugs from my parents, and their prayers. It felt nice, actually. It felt comfortable. Well it didn't matter if my parents didn't held any birthday party for me, because I'm those kind of child who understands their parents situation. Well the only thing that matters for me is their prayers :). You know, your parents' prayers are the most valuable things in this world. 

After that, I decided to sleep. 
In the morning, wait.. does 10 o'clock means it is still morning?? I did my usual habit. 
Taking a shower, eat, washing the dishes, playing the piano, et cetera. No new things to do in this birthday day, just the same old life I was running. The only thing that was different is that I got wishes from my family, relatives, and friends either in social networks or text messages; don't count my grandma, because she congratulates me directly :). I even got one hundred thousands rupiahs from her. Lucky Me :) 
Four days had passed. It was the 30th of July at that time. My three best friends and I had an arrangement of having a reunion at Taman Mini Indonesia Indah (Beautiful Indonesia Miniature Park). This park shows the whole of Indonesia cultures and lands fitted in small acres. Anyway, we planned to gather first at 7 o'clock early in the morning in my house before we go there. I waited for one hour, they still haven't arrived yet. I text-ed one of them. She didn't replied. So after thirty minutes, I text-ed her again. She said that she woke up late and going to reached my house at 10 o'clock. What???!! 7 to 10?? That's like three hours. 
So, while I wait for my late comers best friends, I decided to play my piano. It is a Y*maha acoustic brown Piano. Well in my opinion, K*wai had better sounds than Yamaha. Because this Y*maha that I had sounded lightly. I played my favorites songs first, of course. Some of them are "River Flows in You, Ballade Pour Adeline, Fur Elise, When I need You, I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing". I sang in some of the song that I played, trust me, my voice is not that good. Sometimes my voice squeaks. But somehow, I managed my voice well now, better than before. 
Finally my best friends came. And Oh My God! They brought me a birthday cake. But what shocked me the most is that, they made me a surprised belated birthday party. I can't say a word. What I felt at that time is feeling thankful to God. How Allah had showed me my true best friends. But at that same time also, I felt very sad. Because I can't do anything best for them. I can't payback their good deeds toward me. Well all I can do is pray the best for them. 
A simple small party before we went to Taman Mini Indonesia Indah, they brought me gifts; we ate the cake; and they messed up my face with the cake. It was a happy shocking moment there, I tried to escaped from the cake. But I can't, because 2 people was holding me. And someone in front of me, had her cake painted my face. That was a tough escaped. 
Anyway, that is why I titled this article Gloomy Shocking Birthday, it started from gloomy things to shocking things, and it ends with happiness. 


These are some memoirs of my birthday:

 This is the first gift that I got in my 18th birthday. This is the most unique gift that I got. Because this gift was posted instead of giving it directly face to face. I will do take care of this gift. :) Don't Worry :)

I got this money from my grandmother. :) I'm sure going to save this in my piggy bank :)

This is the cake that my best friends had surprised me with :) :) chocolate flavor. Yummy :9

These are the gifts from my best friends :) I love it. It is so cute. I will not forget these moments :)

This is the gift from my sister and her boyfriend :) Can't wait until she gets here and bring this dress :)




 

This is where I placed my gifts :) In a special place :) In my room of course :)

Missing You

 

So many days and nights that I had been through, it won't stop my mind from thinking about you. The flashback of happy and sad memories, made your shadows alive in my mind. How you came into my life had arisen me from my darkest moment. The warmth of your body had made me feel secure by your side. Your scent had brighten my day. Your voice had been recorded well in my ears, how you whisper words that would always made me feel calm in all kind of situations. Your gestures that had showed me the signs of your love and made me feel that I'm the luckiest girl in the world. 

But after I opened my eyes, you disappeared, leading me back to my darkest moment with much more pain. You had made my life empty. You made me wandering in the coldest desert of mind. A left me in the blizzard of the coldest heart. All this time, I had been dreaming to much. I have been misjudging the wrong thing. You are not as what I had expected. It is time to forget you, even though my mind wouldn't stop thinking about you. I know I would be missing the 'you' that I know. But I had to forget you, even though I am still stuck with all of those memories you gave me. I am still the same me you used to know. I will always be missing you.

Regrets

As people always says:

Regrets come last never in the beginning

There are many types of regrets that had occurred in my mind:

1. Regret of what you have done in the past
2. Regret that you didn't do of what you should do
3. Regret having to know that person
4. Regret that you became too close with that person
5. Regret of the things that you had said
6. Regret of the things that you had plan
7. And many other more regrets..

But these regrets are a good thing. Without it, we would never learn of what our mistakes are. We would never learn how to value something until it's gone. So, don't fall into the same hole twice.